346+ Best Funny Captions for Instagram in 2024

Everybody needs a little humour in their lives. Life would be drab, uninteresting, and plain without a few jokes. The internet gives us plenty of opportunities to laugh and release tension when we need to.

There is no shortage of humorous stuff available to view online, from videos of funny to movies of people making fools of them. Additionally, Instagram hosts a lot of this stuff. All you have to do to find some belly-laughing content on Instagram is search using the appropriate hashtags. You can find a lot of it, too.

Funny Instagram Captions
Funny Instagram Captions

Funny Captions for Instagram

  1. I put my phone in Airplane mode, but it’s not flying!
  2. If being Hot is a Crime, ARREST ME!
  3. If there would be an award for being lazy, I would send someone to pick it up for me.
  4. Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parents’ job.
  5. The first five days after the weekend are always the toughest.
  6. Dear Sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.
  7. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.
  8. I look at people sometimes and think ….. Really?? That’s the sperm that won.
  9. The hardest thing being single is finding a reason to shower.
  10. Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.
  11. People who say they’ll give 110% don’t understand how percentages work.
  12. I know you are a sensitive person but no worry I am Sensodyne to your sensitivity.
  13. The best thing to do first thing in the morning is to go right back to sleep.
  14. If you set impossible goals you’ll never be disappointed when you fail.
  15. What do you call a person who is happy on Monday? – Retired
  16. Gone to the beach. Be back never.
  17. You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.
  18. I like sarcasm. It is like punching people in the face. With Words!
  19. Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they will start using it.
  20. If I was to be controlled, I would have come with a remote.
  21. Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute. Yet…I wouldn’t call them lies!
  22. Reality called, so I hung up.
  23. My hairstyle is called “I Tried”.
  24. Sure, I do marathons. On Netflix.
  25. I put the “Pro” in procrastination.
  26. After Tuesdays, even the calendar goes WTF.
  27. Weekend, please don’t leave me.
  28. You couldn’t handle me even if I came with instructions.
  29. Normal? Normal is only the people you do not know well enough.
  30. I’m in desperate need of a 6-month vacation…twice a year
  31. I don’t believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in five minutes.
  32. I’m not crazy I prefer the term mentally hilarious.
  33. I don’t always make sense, but when I do, I don’t.
  34. Boys/ Girls are like parking spaces. All the good ones are taken.
  35. You never know what you have until you have cleaned your house.
  36. Whenever I have a problem, I sing. Then I realize my voice is worse than my problem.
  37. My excuse is that I’m young.
  38. I had fun once, it was horrible.
  39. When nothing is going right, go left.
  40. I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.
  41. Have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can’t find them.
  42. Your secrets are safe with me… I wasn’t even listening.
  43. I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.
  44. I invented a new word: Plagiarism.
  45. Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It’s very time-consuming.
  46. Practice makes perfect but then nobody is perfect so what’s the point of practicing?
  47. Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
  48. I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.
  49. Never let anyone treat you like regular glue. You are glitter glue.
  50. Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.
  51. Coffee makes my morning but Friday makes my week
  52. Give me the chocolate and nobody gets hurt.
  53. Where are the average things manufactured? The satisfactory.
  54. Whoever invented knock-knock jokes should get a “No Bell” prize.
  55. “Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.
  56. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
  57. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
  58. If you fall, I will be there. Signed, Floor.
  59. 50 Shades of dark circles under my eyes.
  60. Friday … Our second-favorite F word.
  61. I’m sorry, I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.
  62. Wine is always the answer. What was the question again?
  63. Mom: Why is everything on the floor? Me: Gravity!
  64. The older you get, the better you get, unless you’re a banana.
  65. Vodka may not be the answer, but it’s worth a shot.
  66. My favorite subject in school was recess.
  67. Yes, of course, I am athletic… I surf the Internet every day.
  68. We don’t know what’s tighter: Our jeans or our company culture.
  69. Don’t worry if plan A fails. There are 25 more letters in the alphabet.
  70. That awkward moment when you’re wearing Nike’s and you can’t do it.
  71. My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch … I call it lunch.
  72. I am standing outside. Therefore, if anyone asks, I am outstanding!
  73. Who needs self-awareness when I can make you aware of me instead?
  74. I’m a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.
  75. I was going to make myself a belt made out of watches, but then I realized it would be a waist of time.

Short Funny Captions for Instagram

  1. Life is Short – Talk Fast!
  2. The World is yours.
  3. Put in work. Believe in it.
  4. Monday hates you too.
  5. Burn for what you love.
  6. When nothing goes right, go left instead.
  7. Smile… it confuses people.
  8. Hold on, let me overthink about it.
  9. I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom-highlights.
  10. The best is yet to come.
  11. Some of my best friends are carbs.
  12. If you never go, you will never know.
  13. It’s never too early to go back to bed.
  14. Time spent at the beach is never time wasted
  15. Eat like no one is going to see you naked.
  16. I’m a smart person, I just do stupid things.
  17. No one will ever be there in “two minutes”
  18. Fear is only temporary. Regrets last forever.
  19. I am so tired of love songs. Oh, awesome, Ed Sheeran is on…

Funny Instagram Captions for Friends

  1. Friends are the family you choose.
  2. I’d take a nerf bullet for you.
  3. Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food.
  4. If I send you my ugly selfies, our friendship is real.
  5. Finding friends with the same mental disorder. Priceless!!
  6. Best friends don’t care if your house is clean. They care if you have wine.
  7. Never let your best friends get lonely… keep disturbing them.
  8. Friends are therapists you can drink with.
  9. You don’t have to be crazy to be my friend. I’ll train you.
  10. Friends are like rainbows, always there to cheer you up after a storm.
  11. A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
  12. Side by side or miles apart real friends are always close to the heart.
  13. Friends are the beaches of life.
  14. We’ve been friends for so long I can’t remember which one of us is the bad influence.
  15. Good friends show their love in times of trouble, not just in times of happiness.
  16. As your best friend, I’ll always pick you up when you fall, after I finish laughing.
  17. It’s hard to find a friend who’s cute, loving, generous, caring, and smart. My advice to y’all is, don’t lose me.
  18. Friends come and go like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay, like an octopus on your face!
  19. I think we’ll be friends forever because we’re too lazy to find new friends.

Funny Instagram Captions for Couple

  1. I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.
  2. Relationships are like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park.
  3. Let’s commit the perfect crime. I’ll steal your heart and you’ll steal mine.
  4. I am trying not to think about you but it’s not working.
  5. By the way, I’m wearing the smile you gave me.
  6. I always thought perfect couples only exist in books and movies. That changed when I met you.
  7. I love you with all my belly. I would say heart, but my belly is bigger.
  8. Forget the butterflies, I feel the entire zoo in my stomach when I’m with you!
  9. He stole my heart so I’m planning revenge… I am going to take his last name.
  10. Good thing I brought my library card because I’m totally checking you out.
  11. You’re just like bacon, beer, and chocolate – you make everything better.
  12. I love you to the beach and back.
  13. When a girl is in love, you can see it in her smile. When a guy is in love, you can see it in his eyes.
  14. You add meaning to my life and yet, you subtract some cash from my wallet.
  15. I love you so much I’d fight a bear for you. Well, not a grizzly bear because they have claws, and not a panda bear because they know Kung Fu. But a carebear, I’d definitely fight a carebear for you.
  16. Every day I fall in love with you more and more. Except for yesterday… yesterday you were pretty annoying.
  17. Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Funny Instagram Captions for Birthday

  1. Zoom-ing into my birthday week!
  2. It’s my birthday and that’s the tea.
  3. It’s my birthday; I can wine if I want to.
  4. Hugs, kisses and birthday wishes.
  5. Smiling into my birthday week!
  6. Today is my birthday, and I’m riding high.
  7. Sunshine and birthday wishes on my mind.
  8. It’s midnight, which means it’s my birthday!
  9. Telling everyone in sight that it’s my birthday!
  10. Today’s the day I can wear this birthday crown!
  11. Staring my birthday celebrations early this year!
  12. My birthday, my rules.
  13. Peace, love and birthday fun!
  14. Peace, love and birthday cake.
  15. Today’s the best day of the year: my birthday!
  16. Birthdays are bigger in Texas.
  17. Birthday hair and I don’t care.
  18. Feeling cute, might celebrate my birthday later.
  19. Getting my birthday glow on.
  20. Pop the bubbly, it’s my birthday!
  21. Wishing I had s’more birthday wishes.
  22. Birthday wishes and butterfly kisses.
  23. Tell me I’m pretty. It’s my birthday.
  24. If you’re reading this, it’s my birthday.
  25. Happy birthday to myself and I.
  26. Is that a gray hair? Happy birthday to me.
  27. Today is a whole new chapter! Happy birthday to me.
  28. Ditching the gym and eating cake. Happy birthday to me!
  29. Happy birthday to the funniest person I know — me.
  30. My birthday should be a holiday.
  31. I hope my birthday cake is as yummy as me.
  32. My birthday wish is I want more birthday cake!
  33. It’s my birthday and I’ll laugh all I want today.
  34. I don’t usually brag, but when I do, it’s because it’s my birthday.
  35. Today, I’m going to party like it’s my birthday. Oh wait, it is!
  36. It’s proven by science that the more birthdays you celebrate, the longer you live.

Funny Instagram Captions for Graduation

  1. Be bold. Be courageous. Be your best.
  2. I came, I saw, I conquered.
  3. The world is your oyster.
  4. And so the adventure begins.
  5. Whatever is good for your soul, that’s what you should do.
  6. Every end has a new beginning.
  7. I believed I could, so I did.
  8. May your cap fly high
  9. Can I take a nap now?
  10. I got the skills to pay the bills.
  11. Turns out I wasn’t too cool for school.
  12. Let me put that “hire me” sign on my front lawn now.
  13. Graduate: (N.) A person who now has carpal tunnel from note-taking.
  14. Very proud, very tired.
  15. What, like it’s hard?
  16. That’s all folks.
  17. I already forgot everything.
  18. Cheers to the memories.
  19. Now, who is going to pay off these loans?
  20. Next stop: Adulting
  21. Proud of my B.S.
  22. I graduated, so now I’m like all smart and stuff.
  23. I owe my diploma to coffee.
  24. I’m 100% certain that I am zero percent sure of what I’m going to do.
  25. Cap. Gown. It’s going down.
  26. The first step is just showing up.
  27. Take the risk, make the mistake. It’ll all be worth it.
  28. I laugh without fear of the future.
  29. The tassel was worth the hassle.
  30. One step closer.
  31. The sky’s the limit now.
  32. I was here. I lived, I loved. I was here.
  33. May your cap fly as high as your dreams.
  34. No more pencils, no more books, no more teachers’ dirty looks.
  35. “Well, that was easy!” —no one ever.

Funny Instagram Cations for Selfie

  1. Me doing me.
  2. Fresher than you.
  3. I have no selfie control.
  4. Did I make your heart skip a bit?
  5. Sunshine mixed with a little hurricane.
  6. I know that looks aren’t everything, but I have them just in case.
  7. I took 37 of this pic before I finally got it right.
  8. A selfie a day keeps the doctor away.
  9. Confidence Level: Selfie with no filter.
  10. A selfie once a day keeps the depression away
  11. Be the EXTRA in extraordinary.
  12. I may be down to earth but I’m still above you.
  13. I don’t always surf the internet, but when I do, eyebrows
  14. Too bad you can’t take selfies of your character.
  15. I am not taking a selfie, I am just checking my camera quality.
  16. After gossiping about me, please pray for me. I want to be perfect just like you.
  17. Don’t trust everything you see. Even salt looks like sugar.
  18. Please don’t download my Selfie, you may fall in love with me.

Funny Instagram Captions Hilarious Captions

  1. I need some beach therapy
  2. The best days are Beach days
  3. Good Vibes happen on Tides
  4. You make my heart skip a beat
  5. If there’s a will, there’s a wave
  6. There’s snow place like home
  7. You rock my Christmas socks
  8. Showing cleavage doesn’t fix your face
  9. Somethings look very good in dreams
  10. Best memories come from bad ideas
  11. It’s okay even the sky cries sometimes
  12. The smell of the ocean never gets old
  13. But first, let me take an elfie
  14. Sweater Weather is Better Together
  15. Make it a December to Remember
  16. Cooler than the other side of your pillow
  17. Genius is in knowing what to hold on and when to let go.
  18. Life is not about how hard you can hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.
  19. Every day is a new day. It does not matter what happened yesterday. And you know why? Because you cannot change it anyways.
  20. You never run out of things that can go wrong.
  21. Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?
  22. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.
  23. It’s funny how sometimes the people you’d take a bullet for are the ones behind the trigger.
  24. Don’t apologize for honest mistakes that were a result of taking a chance.
  25. Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow.
  26. I used to have superpowers but the psychiatrist took them away.
  27. They say don’t try this at home…so I went to my friend’s home!
  28. I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot. Sleep for a while. Wake up beautiful.
  29. My mother told me not to talk to strangers. I never talk to myself anymore.
  30. I haven’t posted a selfie in a while but I still am very cute just to keep you updated.

Last Funny IG Captions for Instagram

  1. I’m on a date, she isn’t very social.
  2. Confidence level: Kanye West.
  3. Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
  4. I’m on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
  5. Brains are awesome. I wish everybody would have one!
  6. Be strong, I whispered to my WiFi signal.
  7. How do I feel when there is no coffee? Depresso
  8. How do you call a pig that does karate? Pork Chop
  9. For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.
  10. I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s 7 years in a row now.
  11. Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it!
  12. Reality called, so I hung up.
  13. My bed is a magical place I suddenly remember everything I had to do.
  14. I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.
  15. I am a ninja. No, you are not. Did you see me do that? Do what? Exactly.
  16. A cop pulled me over and told me Papers, so I said Scissors, I win! And drove off.

Funny Instagram Captions for Sayings

  1. “Alcohol! Because no great story started with someone eating a salad.”
  2. “I’m really good at stuff until somebody watches me do that stuff.”
  3. “Stupidity knows no boundaries, but it knows a lot of people.”
  4. “Don’t you wish they made a clap-on-clap-off device for some people’s mouths?”
  5. They say don’t try this at home… so I went to my friend’s home!”
  6. “I would like to apologize to anyone whom I haven’t offended yet. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly.”
  7. “A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.”
  8. “They say crime doesn’t pay. So does my current job make me a criminal?”
  9. “There is no lousy weather, only lousy choice of clothing.”
  10. “According to my mirror I am pregnant. The father is Nutella.”
  11. “I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.”
  12. “A good mood is like a balloon: one prick is all it takes to ruin it.”
  13. “The road to success is always under construction.”
  14. “Any of us has the capacity to light up a room. Some when they enter, others when they leave it.”
  15. “Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that people who have the most live the longest.”
  16. “I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.”
  17. “The only scenario where you really need a landline today is when you’re trying to find your cell phone.”
  18. “Dental-Chair Revelation: Once you have your mouth open, dentists lose the ability to ask questions with a simple yes or no answer.”

Funny Instagram Captions for Quotes

  1. “Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.” — Philander Johnson
  2. “And remember, no matter where you go, there you are.” — Confucius
  3. “If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?” — Abraham Lincoln
  4. “Nothing is impossible; the word itself says “I’m possible.” — Audrey Hepburn
  5. “Genius is 1 percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration.”  — Thomas Edison
  6. “I drink to make other people more interesting.” – Ernest Hemingway
  7. “A painting is worth a thousand confused art-gallery visitors.” — Ljupka Cvetanova
  8. “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” — Steve Martin
  9. “I am only human, although I regret it.” — Mark Twain
  10. “I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re skeptical.” — Arthur C. Clarke
  11. “It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
  12. “Every time something pops in my head, I think twice about it and I do it anyway.” — Gilbert Gottfried
  13. “A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.” — Don Marquis
  14. “I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.” — Seasick Steve
  15. “People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.”— Isaac Asimov
  16. “Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.” – Will Rogers
  17. “It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance.” — Thomas Sowell
  18. “I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.” — Mark Twain
  19. “If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” —  Steven Wright
  20. “Life is too short to be reading quotes about life being too short. Stop reading and go live your life!” — Kevin Ngo
  21. “Never follow anyone else’s path. Unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. Then by all means follow that path.” — Ellen DeGeneres
  22. “Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.” — Jack Handey

Funny Instagram Captions for Holidays

  1. Got paroled from doing time.
  2. Got paroled.
  3. Doing this holiday with my kinda crazy.
  4. BRB – going to soak up some vitamin sea.
  5. Eiffel in love with you in Paris.
  6. Jet lag is for amateurs.
  7. Girls just wanna have sun.
  8. All I want is someone to look at me the way I look at a travel brochure
  9. Reality called. I hung up.
  10. Wanderlust has the passport to my heart.
  11. All I want is someone to look at me the way I look at a travel brochure
  12. My love for camping is in-tents.
  13. Beach please.
  14. Work, save, travel, repeat.
  15. Buy that ticket, think later.
  16. This is my resting beach face.
  17. Excuse my resting beach face.
  18. Watch sunsets, not Netflix.
  19. Lost at sea? I’m not shore.
  20. Forever looking for that window seat view.

Funny Instagram Captions for Beach

  1. Beach please.
  2. Resting beach face.
  3. This be my resting beach face.
  4. The beach-my comfort zone.
  5. The beach-my favourite place.
  6. I could live on the beach.
  7. I wish I could just stay on the beach forever.
  8. Beach bum forever.
  9. Beach life preferred.
  10. No one likes a shady beach. 
  11. Call me on my shell phone.
  12. Beach vibes only.
  13. Beach vibes all day everyday.
  14. The beach=my first love.
  15. Happiness comes in waves.
  16. Don’t worry beach happy.
  17. Im sunscreening my calls.
  18. You had me at aloha.
  19. Need vitamin sea.
  20. Craving the sea.

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